Jun. 15th, 2006 05:42 pm
x_wind_dancer: (...bunch of yokels?)
[personal profile] x_wind_dancer
So, which one of you made Frost angry enough to warrant my being hired? Come on. Out with it. Because I really don't see any of you willingly signing up for 'pouring out your soul' time.

I'm Sofia Mantega-Barret and I'll be Snow Valley's psychotherapist.

Grounds rules;
a) you are all required, if you want to keep your positions, to see me. I am required to keep all of you on the same plateau or lower of your mental sanity. That means, if you decide that you’re too good to talk to me for an hour every other week, I will knock you unconscious and tie you to the couch. It will in no way be sexy. I don’t get paid if you’re all crazy.
b) I don't work for any of you. Just to be clear. That's not to say you work for me, either, though.
c) my office is my office. My office is not my bedroom, lounge, kitchen, etc. You are not to tell me the story of how your dog was run over by a bus which stemmed your deep hatred of society anywhere other than my office, especially if you want it to count towards your clocked time. I don’t care what the other guy did, I do not want to be associating my duvet cover with canine entrails. I will consider, in special circumstances, impromptu sessions outside of my personal area.
d) I am not a doctor. I don’t have a code of ethics.

If you could get the comments about my needing to get laid over with in a speedy manner, I’d be grateful. I just had a horribly long flight followed by a non-existent fruit basket, followed by learning that I seem to be living in enchantment under the sea land, after all.

You’re all welcome to my paint chips when I’m finished. And some scented candles.

Date: 2006-06-15 11:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Frost hired a psychotherapist for Snow Valley? How cruel yet bizarrely perceptive of her.

Hello, Ms. Mantega-Barret - I would be Nathan. Just to let you know in case it slipped by in the fog of jet lag, Snow Valley shares its journal system with Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters, most of whom figuratively leap on new people like crack-added ferrets.

I teach at said school, and have my own therapist whom I long since drove to drink. But could you possibly take pictures of any incidents where Mr. Wisdom has to be tied to your couch? I know someone who'd get a real kick out of that.

(I'm also heavily drugged at the moment, so pardon my apparent insanity. Usually I'm better about hiding it.)

Date: 2006-06-15 11:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I was expecting the maniacal laughter at any moment, honestly.

It's Sofia, Nathan - I don't own a school marm outfit, probably why I'm here - and thank you. I'm considering installing a security camera in my office for any abuse charges I might have to file; all recordings, out of session of course, would be up to the highest bidder.

I hope that suffices. Makes a lovely Christmas gift.

Date: 2006-06-15 11:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Sofia, then. (I don't like to presume.)

And I will pass the camera idea along to the interested party I mentioned. She may actually be able to consult with you on proper Wisdom-wrangling technique. She has a long and illustrious history of success in that area.

... oh, God, I love muscle relaxants. I can say whatever I want and blame it on the drugs.

Date: 2006-06-15 11:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I am open to any and all advice; you (and the party) obviously know them better than I. Feel free to take your time, however. I'll most likely be going through their histories for the next eight months.

Date: 2006-06-15 11:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Oh-ho, putting my money where my mouth is...

And I could give you advice on all of them. What a delightful state of affairs.

Date: 2006-06-16 12:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
We may have to arrange a coffee date; I am not above outside information in this case.

Date: 2006-06-16 12:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I happen to be in New York around every... oh, second day or so lately, so that could certainly be arranged. Once I've recovered from my little tumble and am back harassing diplomats, we should definitely catch coffee. Or lunch.

Date: 2006-06-16 02:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Perfect. Hopefully by then either I will know where to eat around here or you can show me.

Date: 2006-06-15 11:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
And I would be Angelo. Nathan's minder research officer.

Good to meet you!

Date: 2006-06-15 11:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Oh, you're just loving the new job title, aren't you. I need to make you a button.

Date: 2006-06-15 11:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Hello, Angelo. Thank you.

Date: 2006-06-15 11:56 pm (UTC)
xp_daytripper: (occult research assistant)
From: [personal profile] xp_daytripper
Researchers unite!

Date: 2006-06-15 11:31 pm (UTC)
xp_daytripper: (by the pricking of my thumbs)
From: [personal profile] xp_daytripper
I still say I'm glad the car wasn't actually moving when you told me this. Nice to know the boss has so much faith in us.

Then again, this is us, so yeah, doesn't really surprise me. Welcome to the insanity, um... what do we call you, any way? Sofia? Ms Mantega-Barret? The Shrink?

So, anyone up for taking bets on how long it takes for us to drive the new recruit completely balmy?

Date: 2006-06-15 11:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Oh, God, Pete's face... I'm just imagining Pete's face. Dom is going to laugh so hard...

Date: 2006-06-15 11:40 pm (UTC)
xp_daytripper: (just a kid)
From: [personal profile] xp_daytripper
I know. I'm not sure he knows about her yet - there hasn't been any swearing coming from his office...

Date: 2006-06-15 11:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I succumbed and called her - it's not that late in Tel Aviv.

She says you need to "proxy-mock" him for her. I think she's a little drunk.

Date: 2006-06-15 11:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Oh, yes. I'm going to be very well loved. I can feel it.

Date: 2006-06-15 11:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Sofia will be fine. Mantega-Barret is a bit of a mouthful, especially since the accents don't match. You may call me The Shrink, but I'll not consistantly answer to it.

Whoever votes on the twelfth of never is going to make a fortune; I've dealt with crazier than all of you put together and managed just fine so far.

Date: 2006-06-15 11:47 pm (UTC)
xp_daytripper: (challenging)
From: [personal profile] xp_daytripper
Sofia it is then. And yeah, I was wondering about the double-barrelled last name. The first half sounds almost Spanish...

There's crazy and then there's our particular brand. Time will tell, I suppose.

Date: 2006-06-15 11:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Close; Venezuela.

If nothing else, wrangling you all into my office means I don't need to find a nearby gym.

Date: 2006-06-16 12:15 am (UTC)
xp_daytripper: (cornered)
From: [personal profile] xp_daytripper
South America, huh? You're a long way from there, but then again you wouldn't be the only one.

Some of us will need more wrangling than others - if you've read my file, you'll know I'm a lot better about that than I used to be. So don't expect me to be bounding for joy, but I won't shirk either. You might want to talk to Doc Sampson, up at the school - he's got all the notes on me for the last couple of years.

Date: 2006-06-16 02:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I don't expect anyone to be ecstatic about showing up. Not spitting in my eye would be a level up from my usual work. I just expect you to show up.

Date: 2006-06-15 11:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
From one new member to another, welcome aboard. Actually, I really out to thank Frost since this will save me some time from going to my current appointments.

Would you like a fruit basket?

Date: 2006-06-15 11:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Well, I've figured out already that you're not a pathological liar, since I do indeed not have your file yet. Hello.

I think I'll do without, but it's the principle of the thing.

you give orders well,

Date: 2006-06-15 11:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
but do you listen?

Date: 2006-06-16 12:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Even better than I give orders.

Date: 2006-06-16 12:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]

that remains to be seen.

Date: 2006-06-16 12:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
To you, yes. And since I'm assuming you're a student of Xavier's, it will probably stay that way.

Unless you have a Federal clearance I'm not aware of.

Date: 2006-06-16 12:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]

federal clearance? I'm Cheyenne.

I'm Dani by the way, Xavier school secretary.

This has got to be...

Date: 2006-06-16 02:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Either the most brilliant or the most incredibly boneheaded move Frost has ever made.

I'm Logan. That's all you get to know because that's all _I_ know.

Re: This has got to be...

Date: 2006-06-16 02:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I am merely a pawn in her plan for revenge.

Pleased to meet you, Logan.

Date: 2006-06-16 10:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Despite what my colleagues and, well let's be charitable and call them "friends", might suggest, I am a perfectly fucking reasonable man, who is, in fact, not wholly unfamiliar with having to see a psych professional as part of his job, having been in government employ for some years. Hiring you was a bloody good idea on Emma's part - I have no wish for anyone to wind up more wrecked than the job requires them to be, after all. (How do you know Emma, by the way?)

I will, in fairness, warn you that I've already induced nervous breakdowns in two of the three pysch professionals that my previous employers required me to see. In my own defense, it wasn't intentional.

I'm heading off on a business trip later today, but we should sit down and chat about a few things when I get back.

Date: 2006-06-16 12:09 pm (UTC)
xp_daytripper: (just having fun)
From: [personal profile] xp_daytripper
See, where's the fun if you're going to be all reasonable? *grins* At least there's still Remy and Betsy's reactions - Remy dumped us in favour of the airport bar, so he'll be overjoyed to find out he's expected to do regular counselling...

Date: 2006-06-16 04:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I don't have a contract, therefore, no need for psych counselling.

Date: 2006-06-16 04:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Be sure to inform Frost of this as soon as possible; I both seem to have mistakenly acquired your file and your name on my list of clients.

Until this is all cleared up, however, I'll be seeing everyone by the end of next week.

Date: 2006-06-16 07:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Bite the bullet, Remy; it'd be good for you.

Date: 2006-06-16 04:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
That sounds lovely. If you're going to be away for any amount of time, my office will be the one that's not seafoam green and has a couch.

Date: 2006-06-16 06:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Hello, Sofia.

I'll refrain from welcoming you to the madhouse since you're not over here on our campus and Amanda seems to have already bastardized my traditional greeting anyway.

I'm Lorna, you may see me around the brownstone on occasion. While that's probably a sign of mental instability on my part, it's not instability that's any of your problem.

If you ever drop by the mansion, I'll make you dinner. It's a thing I do.
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